How to train and internalise a new habit
Establishing new habits is not always easy. But mastering our habits gives us the power to act in a self-determined way.
When was the last time you tried to form a new habit? Did you manage to put your intention into practice or was there that stale feeling that it didn’t work out after all?
Establishing new habits is not always easy. But it is worth it. Because mastering our habits gives us the power to act in a self-determined way.
Small, everyday actions are particularly suitable for this: Switching off the computer at 9 p.m. to be able to sleep better at night. Don’t eat after 7 p.m. because it’s healthier. Record your expenses directly after shopping to have the necessary data for the monthly evaluation. To go jogging three times a week to stay physically fit.
To establish new habits, it is helpful to understand how they work.
Habits are trained patterns of behaviour that we have internalised so much that we often perform them unconsciously. I also like to refer to habits as what is inherent in us. They are the mental shortcuts in our heads that allow us to perform actions very quickly and without much thought.
We can process things habitually much faster than if we first have to think about them intensively and prepare for a long time. They let us communicate faster because we don’t have to struggle for every word.
Good mental habits let us think more clearly because we already have certain mental structures in our heads and can thus find better solutions. Since habits make us faster, they are also the key to our efficiency — or inefficiency.
Stephen Covey, the well-known author, calls habits the intersection between knowing, being able and wanting. You always have something of all three. I understand the background and I know how it is connected. I know what result I am aiming for and what it is for, and I understand what steps I have to take to achieve the desired result.1
These three aspects are what I need to consider when I want to train a new habit. In order not to be at the mercy of my bad habits, I let the positive routines become more and weaken or reduce the negative ones. Becoming master of our habits can give one a sense of self-determination. Or as Aristotle put it:
We are what we repeatedly do.
Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.
— Aristotle
Training a new habit
Training serves to perform an action as often as necessary until it is developed as a skill. Consistent patterns of action are repeated until they are internalised.
But before this can happen, we need clarity about our motivation.
Get clear about your “why”
I want to form a new habit because I expect positive changes. Maybe I’ve been hearing for years how jogging is good for your health. And just the other day, when I was out for a walk, another one of these fellows whizzed past me on the pavement. Reason enough to finally try it out for myself.
A tried and tested method is to write down your goals, because that increases the likelihood of achieving them. It doesn’t have to be a long novel, just a short statement that I can review in three months.
When setting a goal, it helps me not only to imagine a target state, but much more to explore the need behind it. Phrases with “in order to” help me to do this.
I would like _____________ in order to achieve __________
In other words, “I want to go jogging three times a week in order to be physically fit” or “I want to go jogging three times a week in order to be physically fit”. If my need is performance, then I will record my times very accurately and compare them with the previous day to see the improvements. If physical fitness and health are important to me, then I might go jogging in the forest rather than in the city so that I can get some fresh air there too.
Another helpful tip is to think about how your self-image is changing. If habits are tied to your identity, then behaviour change is easier. The thought “Phew, I still have to run today.” creates a different feeling than this one: “I’m a jogger. I want to run another lap today!”
Once your why is clear to you, the habit starts to become attractive.
Prepare yourself
You have set your goal, now it’s time to take the first steps towards realising it. Goals are one thing — they are important because they give you drive. Goals are about the results you want to achieve. Systems, however, are about the mechanics that lead to those results.
Especially in the beginning, the habit wants to be well prepared because implementation is much easier with good preparation. Preparation is necessary so that one is ready.
It may be logical and sound like a small detail, but if you want to go jogging regularly and you don’t have suitable clothes or shoes at home because you have never jogged before, it will be difficult to build the habit. You want to become a vegetarian but your fridge is full of meaty foods? This too will be difficult and will require some preparatory changes that are aligned with your goal.
Think about what is currently preventing you from getting started. Make a little checklist in your head and then get to work.
Create physical reminders
A habit must be as obvious as possible. The jogging shoes should not be in the basement, but visible at the front of the shoe rack. This will remind you regularly when you walk past them. So you need triggers that keep reminding you of the habit you are striving for. This will make the habit obvious.
Let’s say you have decided to run not just at some point during the day, but first thing in the morning. Then you put your sports clothes next to your bed so that you see them first thing. You’ll fall right out of bed into your jogging clothes and shoes and before you know it, you’ll find yourself running at the front door. So the habit is not only obvious, it’s easy.
The more often we do this and follow our intended behaviour, the more satisfying it is.
Let’s summarise briefly: by defining our “why”, the habit became attractive to us, by removing unnecessary difficulties, we made it easy, by physical reminders, we created trigger stimuli that made the habit obvious. With the first few executions, we have noticed that we are living up to our expectations. The habit is becoming satisfactory.2
One important aspect is still missing to form the habit.
Hang in there
We have made a start and done the first repetitions. Now it is time to stick with it and persevere.
Brian Tracy brings two more elements into play. In his framework for forming habits, he calls it the “3D”: decision, discipline, determination.3
We have already made a decision when we have gained clarity about our motivation. But in addition, it takes the discipline to do the necessary repetitions for a long time. It also takes the determination to stick with it even when unpleasant feelings will arise. So if you have set your mind to something and it has value for you, then stick with it!
By the way, to form a habit, the frequency of repetition is more important than the duration. The duration of doing it is not so important, it is much more important how often it was done. You can do something three times in thirty days or three hundred times. It is the frequency that makes the difference.
Start
When you start, it’s best to do something simple. The “habit muscle” grows like any other muscle through training. That’s why it’s important to keep at it. To practice something regularly and persistently, it is good to start really small.
Covey, S. R. (2018). Die 7 Wege zur Effektivität: Prinzipien für persönlichen und beruflichen Erfolg (A. Roethe, N. Bertheau, & I. Proß-Gill, Übers.; 57., Überarbeitete Aufl.). GABAL.
Clear, J. (2020). Die 1%-Methode — Minimale Veränderung, maximale Wirkung: Mit kleinen Gewohnheiten jedes Ziel erreichen — Mit Micro Habits zum Erfolg (A. Tschöpe, Übers.; Deutsche Erstausgabe Edition). Goldmann Verlag.
Tracy, B. (2007). Eat that frog! 21 great ways to stop procrastinating and get more done in less time (2nd ed). Berrett-Koehler Publishers.